Fini

I laid in bed last night thinking about A’Dell’s post about time and starting the school years. I only have three weeks before I lose Margaret for 7 hours a day. (SEVEN. Does this not seem crazy to anyone else?)

I’m not out of the baby stage – thank goodness, because I’m loving every minute of this sweet, squishy, smiley girl – but I am done with pregnancy and birth forever.

Gratuitous baby photo

 

Sometimes I want to throw a big party celebrating the fact I’ll never again have to deal with pregnancy puking for months on end. I made it through! THREE TIMES! I’ve earned my permanent reprieve.

On the other hand, I’ll never again feel a baby kicking inside of me. Or give birth – something I strangely came to really enjoy.

The family-growing years are over and I’ve met all of my children. Doesn’t that sound crazy? There are no more unknowns. Or who knows – maybe there are. But for the first time I’m not periodically sitting down and wondering who might come next. Boy or girl? Wild or reserved? Goofy or serious?

There’s a little baby kick-kick-kicking as she sleeps in the bassinet at the foot of our bed and when she outgrows it, it will go. The infant carseat will follow, and our “baby gear closet” will slowly (finally!) empty.

I’m surprised to be pretty much OK with it right now, if a little melancholy. I wonder if I’ll feel sadder when Eleanor isn’t a baby anymore. I love having babies. But as soon as she was born, I felt…complete. Like everyone was here. A feeling I worried I’d never have. It feels nice.

My husband is dancing a jig right now

I’ve finally given all of my scrapbooking supplies over to the kids for art projects. I haven’t scrapbooked in years – since before we moved into this house, I think. That was five years ago. I think it was kind of a fad that passed, the embellished, hand-decorated scrapbooks of the late 90s/early 2000s. I truly enjoyed it, though.

I loved cutting the pictures just so to get rid of excess and highlight the good parts. I had fun finding new ways to cut and arrange the acid-free paper that served as a backdrop; striking the balance between using pretty stickers and making the page look too cluttered. I have a big stack of albums in my basement, chronicling my whole life up until my freshman year of college or so – plus a few half-started ones afterward that are mostly just piles of cut photos.

Scrapbooking

These days I make digital albums on Shutterfly or Snapfish or whomever has the best sale going on. I love them, too, in some ways more than handmade albums. I certainly love that they’re out there, on the internet, should my house blow away in a tornado or something. I can just order a new copy! (This train of thought always makes me want to go get a safety deposit box or waterproof safe for my old albums.)

I often feel like just when I get really rolling on a good fad, it’s over. (You should see all the Beanie Babies I’ve got.) My scrapbooking supplies take (took?) up three plastic boxes and a couple big bags. I’ve got every color paper, style of alphabet sticker, and fine-point acid-free marker you could wish for. All useless now, because I suppose I don’t really want to start up again. I just miss it.

(You know one fad I don’t miss? Hand-stamped cards. Ordering personalized cards off the internet is waaaay better. Anyone want some embossing ink and glitter? Hair dryer not included.)