I feel like I’m often posting negative things here. I write for commiseration (or suggestions) from others who have gone though the same thing and also to just complain and get it out of my system. It does help, most of the time. But, man, I’ve been a downer lately.
Part of the problem is that I can write about hard days in detail (and then she did this, and THEN she did THIS, and then she wouldn’t sleep!), but I have a harder time writing about fun days. This post from Saturday was hard to write. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get the “fun” to come across. For me, at least, the post does not come remotely close to describing how great the day really was. It sounds flat and forced and makes me feel like a terrible writer (not that I ever thought I was a good writer).
To be honest, I only forced myself to write it because I wanted to remember the day. I wanted to have it written down so someday I can tell Meg that occasionally we did go out to community events and have fun instead of sitting at home. I wanted to have it written here so maybe some day when I’m losing my mind and have to get us out of the house, maybe I’ll remember the fountain and decide to go there. I wanted to write it so this website doesn’t make it seem like her babyhood was a big pain in the neck. I did not write it because I felt like writing about it. Maybe that’s the problem? Some posts I spend hours composing in my head and by the time I write them, I generally say exactly what I want to say and am happy with it. That one I did not start composing in advance (probably because I was dealing with Miss I-won’t-nap).
I feel like whiny, cranky posts are my strength and I hate that. Everyone deals with sleep issues and I’m sure you all don’t need to read another blog post about someone whose kid won’t sleep. It gets old fast. Sometimes I feel like I’m playing the “how many different ways can I write about the same thing” game.
SO, to try to change the tone (for today at least), here’s a list of things that made me happy today:
1. Having time away from Meg, then having both of us be SO HAPPY to see eachother at the end of the day.
2. Playing with a happy child (who took a nap at daycare).
3. Dancing to our Veggie Tales CD! (Meg’s a great dancer)
4. My job. I really do like what I do and I enjoyed my work today.
5. Co-workers. I’ve been working on an audit by myself for the last week and a half (and I LOVE working alone), but today I had someone working for me and I really enjoyed it. We spent far too much time talking instead of working, but these are the kind of days when I think I could never, never quit my job because its so nice just chatting all day.
6. Cookies! I made iced sugar cookies this weekend and, although my waistline doesn’t like them, I am loving them. Probably too much, but whatever.
What makes YOU happy?