A post with too many references to my butt

1. I’ve become addicted to Freecycling. Yesterday I posted 12 partially used bottles of lotion/body spray/random bath products. I had eleven responses. People are falling over each other to claim my years-old lotion. A radio-controlled tarantula (given to Thomas as a gag gift because he’s scared of spiders) had people begging me to give it to them. At this point I’m so addicted to the “please pick me!” emails, I keep looking around for stuff I can list. Next up, a bunch of old bottles of nail polish! How many responses do you think I’ll get?

2. Either the dryer shrunk my maternity pants or I gained at least 10 pounds since last Wednesday. My pants are really tight, to the point I’ll probably have to go buy new ones this week and its ticking me off. Sadly, I’m almost certain I actually DID gain 10 pounds and all that stuff about how you should buy your pre-pregnancy size because only the belly grows is CRAP. My thighs have expanded a LOT in both pregnancies. They have stretch marks. I also have stretch marks on my behind from my first pregnancy. I’m sure more are forthcoming. Since I started this pregnancy 20 pounds heavier than I started the last one, I did expect to buy new pants, but I was hoping to get more than a couple weeks out of the old ones.

3. A headline just popped up on my news-thingy saying “Sheen Fired from ‘Two and a Half Men’” and I read it as “Shots fired at Two and a Half Men.” For a second, I honestly thought Charlie Sheen had finally gone all the way crazy and shot up the (hopefully empty) set. And I believed it. When I re-read the headline correctly I was like…that’s it? No shots? No new quotes? Just fired? Totally not breaking news, people.

4. In other lovely pregnancy news, I am rapidly becoming crippled. My lower back and, um, areas lower than that, are KILLING ME. Walking is torture. I can’t sleep. So, bonus, today I had to take a new employee on a tour of our office and surrounding buildings! We walked for an hour and I could barely hobble back to my desk by the time the tour was over.

5. Relatedly, where exactly is the sciatic area? I’ve gathered its somewhere in the butt region, but that knowledge came from Friends, so it may not be entirely accurate. I’d like to say something a little more nuanced than “my butt hurts,” but if I’m going to turn myself into an 80-year-old by saying “my sciatica is flaring” I’d like to be sure that’s actually what’s happening.

Comments

  1. Sciatic pain sort of starts in the butt and radiates into the upper thighs and up into the lower back. It is usually sharp, almost electric pain. And no amount of stretching or massaging will fix it, as it is the nerves and not the muscles that causes it. I hope that isn’t your problem, but it’s pretty common in pregnancy, of course and according to my midwife EVERYTHING is worse in 2nd and subsequent pregnancies. So yeah.