I am perfectly suited to this stay-at-home gig, you guys. I’ve really never been happier. I was pretty worried about quitting my job. What if I finally got the one thing I’ve always wanted and…didn’t like it?
I liked my job. I often wished I could be at home instead, but I wasn’t miserable all the time. There were days when I was quite happy to drop the children off and head to work. I worried about the irreversibility of giving up a job that I liked and was good at, plus six years of seniority. My job was the type of thing where they didn’t specifically replace me and I probably could have gone in and begged them to take me back, but how depressing would that be? To be back where I started, this time with nothing to dream about?
But these last four months there has been exactly one day when I wanted to go to work. One.
(I do still worry about if I’ll ever go back to the workforce and how difficult it might be to even get back to where I was, but I’m trying to not think about it. Problems for another day and all.)
I mean, if there had been several days when someone had told me I had to go off to work I’d probably have said “Eh, OK, I’ll go.” A change of scenery isn’t the worst thing. But if I’d been asked each morning: stay at home or go to work? I’d have chosen staying home with the kids (tantrums, fighting, and all), hands down, every day but one. (And we did survive that one ‘everyone is trapped in the house, they’ve had enough of ME, and I’ve certainly had enough of THEM’ day.)
We have had other hard days where everyone is wishing other people would just BEHAVE BETTER (I wish they weren’t whining and fighting and they wish mommy wasn’t yelling), but even on those days I feel lucky to be here. At home. Where I want to be.