Today, at Sam’s Club

“Aww, a baby! How old?”
“Two months.”
“Oh, and another one on the way?!”

I could see the horror in the sample lady’s* eyes as the words left her mouth and she realized what she was saying. Then she kept digging. “Oh, just a mommy pooch, ha ha! That’s what I call it! A mommy pooch! Ha!”

In her defense, I was laughing, too, because of course I still look pregnant-ish. It doesn’t bother me that people notice. But who assumes there’s a baby in there after ascertaining that I gave birth two months ago? How could I be showing with another? She’s lucky I’m such a fan of witnessing social awkwardness.


*Yes, this woman was trying to sell me something as she called me fat. Soda, as it happens, to make the whole thing more absurd.


  1. Ha ha that’s craZy

  2. OH. MY. LORD.

  3. Lindsay says:

    Wow. Just wow.

  4. This happened to me when Sophie was maybe three months old. I was shopping at White House Black Market and Sophie was sleeping in the stroller and the lady who wanted to sell me stuff, I’m sure, was standing in front of me, had already commented on Sophie in the stroller and asked me how far along I was. My Inner Monologue: BITCH THE BABY IS RIGHT THERE. My Outer Monologue: Um, the baby is right there…

    She did not even have the class to appear embarrassed, just cracked up. I left the store without buying a stitch. Still bitter almost six years later too! LOL. #solidarity

  5. Well, damn.

  6. Oh, man. That is something.

  7. OMG the same thing happened to me when Maggie was five weeks old. How stupid are people?? DO THE MATH, GENIUSES. Also, so rude.